A Mouse in the Mouth
  when are you gonna leave? i'm not gonna ask again. the cycle of words ever said is complete when they become untrue. so i unfold myself and read what's been done to me. and these are the words that will shape me. these are the words that will break my heart. and thank God. no more heart. thank God
   
  Sealing
  there is a maroon room; barely lit, stagnant, and untouched. as stale as the air it will last breathe. i'll never see the inside again. it's only a memory now. and i can barely remember what it feels like to be in there. it's been so long and unmoved, like it was once someone's favorite chair before they died. and now, no one will ever sit in it ever again. it's too frightening to look inside where i once was. and i can remember, barely, ever being me in there
   
  5 Days and the Mind's Erased
  i found the footsteps behind her the longest. and ear untrained to the sound of my feet proves that they never were. there waves her freshly cut hair within tempting ear-shot. and i break the damn on the world with my mouth..... the only time i ever truly saw her scared. her hand with a hand i bet she didn't know as well as mine, all over the back of her neck, on that thin skull. shattered into facing me again with a word: her name hurled a hundred miles from my lips. please be the worst thing i can imagine. please be more than i can handle. bit my soul into my hands. i'll be tearing them up. i'll be breaking my hands.
   
  Soaked and Captured
  let go of me at my weakest time. and you let me fall down a well that you dug for me. as deep as i drowned, the tips of my fingers never left the light, peering blind. feeling around abandoned ground. here... i'll pull myself out. and look at me - i'm a mess. and i want to remember this?! soaked in love notes forever. days and days of splitting skin trying to get out. but sealing the memory with peach little snails forever on my arm. and i saved every ounce of it, i thought. loved every second of it. out and alone. forgotten. oh, i'm a mess. and i soaked and captured every sweet drop of my sadness. did i want to remember this?
   
  Balanced in Perfect Amber
  my head is so empty, and i don't care about thinking about anything. yet it's filled with my medicine that tells me how much meaninglessness is. and my heart is even emptier, and i think no matter how thin, anything would be welcome. but i know somewhere, that in time, there's not a thing here that'll ever fill me. and i'll die trying.
   
  When Finger and Palm was All
  your hands are as lifeless as the ground i will lay my body on. and it's funny how they seem to fit so well and easy when they're unknown. one day, i let go of thinking that they made only one body to fit mine, when i realized they really made none. and i gave up caring what it would feel like. your hands are as cold as the earth they all want to put my body in. and they wrap around me like they're savin' the world, or stopping the unfolding of what i know: that there were really none. but they fit so well with no motives driving. they fit so well when they're unknown.
   
  Sun
  i feel in every ray you beating down like before. memories we made in hopes to embrace. memories made to fear. open up the sky molded by your hands. and i drink so i won't see these things anymore. you drift in every sky. trail me like a cloud. and i will never say i see but i'll always feel it
   
  When i Dream i Fall i Hit
  if i died today, the hole in my head would be a lot cleaner than the one in my heart. every time i see these people, the more they move, the more i draw back, and see just how far apart i've become. with a scowl on my face that either means i'm gonna hit something, or i'm just too unfriendly to approach... and it's driving me mad. the more i bite my fingers, one day i'm gonna swallow my soul before i get a chance to feel like i used to again. will i ever bother to put a breath towards anything again? try to feel a little like i used to again. just a little like i did then.
   
  Everything Starts and Everything Ends in October
  she had a house west of the sun. when i try to remember it all i can think of is the day barrellin' down at the horizon. to let go in the final, brown clouds.